January 03, 2007

生命的輓歌...

海灘那個孤寂的、微微駝起的、說不清道不盡的蒼桑的背影.....

生命的輓歌--【愛麗斯的情書】
海灘那個孤寂的、微微駝起的、說不清道不盡的蒼桑的背影,滿溢著年華老去的無奈,她揚著一張縐紋縱橫、毫無表情的面孔,注視著無垠的大海的是空空洞洞的眸子,那曾經亮麗動人的青春,充滿了勃勃生機的美妙胴體,超逸不凡的文才,放縱任性的行為、對性、對生命盡情、盡性的享受,擲地有聲的是她清脆的笑聲﹔那失落了的青春、失落了的愛情、失落了的任性、失落了的情感、失落了的往昔……..美麗的陽光、沙灘、身邊的朋友、不離不棄的丈夫……一切的一切於她而言,生命只是無窮無盡的黑暗,她陷入沒有情感、沒有語言、沒有文字,無人能知、無人能曉的老年痴呆的困境,那是怎樣的一個濃郁神秘的世界,沒有人能涉足,沒有人能與她同行。

從來就不善言詞的約翰(John),背負著她生命的全部,衣、食、住、行人類穻s的最基本的本能,日常瑣碎的生活足以抹殺所有的溫情﹕面對著年邁痴呆的愛麗斯,同樣是步入老年的約翰(John)身心絞碎、不停暴出的粗口,吼出了他心靈深處的傷痕,早年愛麗斯與他人放縱的性慾,在他的心中留下了不能磨滅的鉻印,這是生命冷酷而真實的一幕,毫不粉飾的人性。我不知那刻骨銘心的痛要怎樣的愛才能寬恕、包容。

送愛麗斯去老人中心的約翰(John),緊緊地握住的雙手,依依不捨,對他一生的愛人,曾經擁有過的美麗人生,然而人的能力的有限,總有些是我們握不住、守不了的﹕逝去的往昔、喚不回的歲月。那度盡的年歲好像一聲歎息,轉眼成空如飛而去,這對生命真實、細膩的刻劃讓我痊y滿面,讓那卑微的自我無處躲避,我審視自己的心靈﹕每當身心疲憊不堪﹔每當心靈因憂鬱而乾涸﹔每當活潑、強壯生命的力量為病所消耗﹔每當愁苦之時﹔誰與同在,誰與同行?在恐懼的黑暗中,祂無處不在的聲音﹕【女子啊﹗妳要聽,要想,要側耳而聽。】

做為基督徒的我們可有如此深愛、善待我們身邊的人,雖然他(她)不盡完美,雖然他(她)有釵h的瑕疵,我們可有堅守我們心靈深處的愛?﹗當無處不在的激情,熱烘烘的愛情,減滅在歲月的長河之中,我們可是緊握身邊人的雙手,共渡這平凡的日子?﹗

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